so fast

Today is the third week since he passed away.

My deepest sorrow was fade away even haven't get normally yet but Alhamdulillah. Those not easy as i thought to recovery everything. Yeah i just lost all of my life senses, i was stressed out, its like the worlds crashing down and dont know how to do.

How do i get through my life without u? what can life would that be?
It’s just not fair brings more trouble than it all is worth and life preasures me down, i always thought it at first but i know that was Rencana Allah  :').
Allah knows what the best destiny or way for us, believe it,,

Actually so hard to come back at first cause his presence still lingers here and it haunts me more over, dont mind i love with it instead so i can remember  how beautiful  life is when we're being a complete family.

Theres a lot things bout him. And his sketchy.........

He is the second son, playing football become his hobby (i knew it from his close friend hem), he always use glasses as same as me and watch on left hand side. Qanita always called him with "uak kumis" nick wkwk, cause he has dense mustache. he loves noodle so much, when he being in home ordered noodle to me or mom became his tradition which has to done. He has dark brown skin, even he passed up to 50 years old but he still strong enough and more handsome.


He always taught bout truly life meaning, sorry dad if i didnt hear ur advices seriously but definitely i got it.
He is wise, simple person and having great personality.
i was regret cause ive not longer time to know well who he is, yeah its so hard to tell bout our situation and condition matters which made distance for everything. Although our intensity not too much to have meeting but im very grateful that ive became part of his life and so was me.

i will miss his kindness, his mustache :p, his calling which ask my news or just ask me to keep my eat rule , studying and dont late to sleep at night.

people on my surrounding especially all of beloved friends always keep taking care and be there for me too. they tried to cheer me up, took my pain and burried em away... so helped. Their support made this faith to continuing the way come on top again.
 U need the others to heal heaviness inside urs. Thanks all :*

Rise up and take the power back, it's time that. Putting my defenses up and keep running thats should be do.

Somehow I have to find and as I try to make my way to the ordinary world I will learn to survive.

i just want our dream come true in the end as what u want it too and becoming ur proud daughter.

Even u're far away now, but i know u are shining on me from heaven to keeps me alive :)

My dearest papa :')

Bermulai dari mana, entahlah dan mulai lah
Duka itu datang begitu mendadak, bahkan aku tak sanggup untuk menerima nya. 

Selasa, 6 Agustus 2013 kami mendapat kabar yang tak mengenakkan dari kakek ku.
yah papa ku tersayang telah pergi untuk selama-lamanya. Tak percaya, rasanya begitu perih dan pedih menjadi satu. Kami berduka dan bahkan sampai sekarang pun rasanya masih begitu berat menyadari bahwa papa telah tiada. Ini memang manusiawi, namun kami mencoba mengikhlaskannya. Semua sudah catatan yang Maha Kuasa, papa sudah tenang di alamnya, yang bisa kami lakukan sekarang hanyalah mendoakan agar ia diberikan tempat yang paling mulia di sisi-Nya aamiiin. Yang tenang yah pah disana :')

Bye

And for the third times it happened again. Yeah one of our lovely friend left us behind. Fadhly Yusuf or ucup or om (thats my daily nick for him) have entered as a new colleger at University of Indonesia, physics majoring. Great achievment actually and im so proudly with it. Congrats ucup, but in my deep part that made me sad cause ive lost one more.

I knew that he has moved to UI yesterday when i was talking to my friends and that news shocked me out, bad news or good news?????
i still dont believe it, and i dont want more over. At night, we have dinner with our class as missing time gathering and in the end of that we held farewell party for ucup, aahhhh i cant hold out my tears. We felt pain to let him go.

umm, he's nice person with every credibility, integrity and talent which he has. He also full of humorous. A fun name like "ucup the explorer, ucup yang tertukar, catatan si ucup, etc" was created as pleasant joke in class. "untung nenek gua penyanyi cilik!" is one of my favorite joke of him hahaha. how i can describe all things, when i saw at the first time ucup was so wise, so nice, and everything seem to good. His kindness, leadership, responsibility was reflected on him, his influence and contribution get more for our class improvement. It made me hard to realize that he will  not with us anymore, though we still can meet but it would be different. We will missing u my friend, and im crying remembering how hard the time was. I missed we spent our time together as first when Alm.Ayu, Atho and Arya had been here too and now ucup turns who will leave us. The days were slipping past and the good things never last. Success for u ucup,,,

Things have seem to changed
There’s one thing that’s still the same
In my heart you have remained
Hoping the best for u guys always in their own way
Hoping its adorable friendship ever

sincerely, eka